My Little Fortress
by Scout Pilgrim
Summary: Scout Pilgrim finds himself in Equestria, but his red-team enemies come looking for him, and the ponies are caught in the crossfire. Self-insertion. Incomplete.
1. Prologue & Chapter 1, For The Record

My Little Fortress

The air was fresh, the sun was bright, and blood was spattered on the ground. To you, this seems abnormal. But for Scout Pilgrim, this is a normal Tuesday afternoon. Scout was doing his normal objectives, trying to obtain the intelligence. Scout heard the screams of his enemies and teammates, falling to the ground dead, exploding, burned to death, mutilated, and almost everything else. He was miserable. The war between Redmond and Blutarch Mann had been going on for hundreds of years and its never let up. He grabbed the intel, ran out the bast, and jumped into the water system. He went to his friend, Engineer, for a quick chat.

"Engi, I don't know if I can keep this up." Scout said, panting.

"Sure you can. Look at me. Been workin' here for 20 goldern years and im still alive an' kickin. Engineer said, working on a broken dispenser. "Now to put that little sucker in there an'…" he then said, inserting a light blue cylinder into the machine.

"What is that?" Scout asked.

"Oh, this little ol' thing?" Engineer asked. "This is just an enhancer that makes the healing more powerful. Bit of a lifesaver, when ya think about it…" Engi finished, then installed the thing. "There. That should about do it."

"Nice. Maybe ill test it out when Medic gets here." Scout said, laughing.

"You sure you want that?" Engineer said, laughing as well.

They both started guffawing at the same time.

* * *

><p>Everything in ponyville was the same as 2Fort, except no bloodletting. Twilight Sparkle was sitting at home, reading Daring-Do and the Quest for Fucks to Give.<p>

"Well, this book isn't all that tasteful." Twilight said, putting the book down. She then saw Spike standing near the door, entranced. "Spike, What are you doing?"

"I sense something." Spike said.

"Sense what?" Twilight asked.

"Something…big…" Spike said.

* * *

><p><em>Somethin' big is goin' down in Ponyville, it's Twilight's job to find out what it is. ON TO THE NEXT CHAPTER!<em>

_-SP_


	2. Chapter 2, First Impressions

Scout was running down the hallway and captured the intelligence.

"We have successfully captured the enemy intelligence." The Administrator boomed over the speakers. The score was tied, 3 – 3, and only 4 minutes were left.

"I gotta hurry this up." Scout said, running out the hallway back into the fray. He ran past Engineer, who noticed that Scout was a bit beat up.

"Hey Scout, come over here and help yourself to some healing. No one else has been healed over here, and now you can be number one." He said, motioning over to come to him.

"Wow…I gotta say, Engineer, you really outdone yourself this time." Scout said.

"Really? Because I have to say this one thing, I don't feel like I've worked a lot on this. It feels...incomplete. Im'a start working on this right now..." Engineer said, thinking.

Just then, a soldier wielding a Cow Mangler 9000 burst into the room. He then fired at the dispenser, which Engineer was still at work on.

"Engineer, look out!" Scout said, pushing him out of the way, and taking the full blast. The dispenser imploded, and took Scout with him too. The only thing Scout remembers is screaming as everything faded to black.

Twilight was in the Everfree forest, looking for Spike who had ran off earlier.

"Spike? Spike?" She called out into the forest.

"Spike, where are you?" She called out again. Just then, she heard an explosion that rattled the ground below her. She also saw a light blue explosion about 20 feet away. She ran towards the explosion, and what she saw was shocking.

There, fallen on the floor, not dead, but unconscious, was Scout Pilgrim, arm on the dispenser, as if he was shielding it from an explosion. Twilight inched closer and closer to the unseen human she had never saw in her life. She poked at it, softly, but then harder. Scout awoke with a snort, and then slowly rose up. Twilight was deathly scared. She jumped back and slowly inched a foot away. Scout looked around, then turned all the way until he caught Twilight's gaze with her big, gleaming eyes.

"Uh, hello there, little pony. What's your name?" Scout asked in a friendly, light voice.

"M-my n-n-name I-is T-t-twilight..." She stuttered, scared for her life.

"Oh my god...you can talk..." Scout said in awe.

Twilight then slowly walked backwards into the forest brush.

"No, wait. Don't go. Can you tell me where I am?" Scout asked.

"You're in t-t-the e-e-Everfree f-forest." She said.

"In where?" Scout asked.

"Equestria..." Twilight said.

"Equestria, eh? I guess that'll have to do." Scout said, getting up.

Twilight then started to inch away again.

"Wait, don't be afraid. I won't hurt you. I'm just lost, that's all." Scout said, holding out his hand.

Twilight swallowed some of her saliva then said "y-y-you are? Are you sure you won't kill me?"

"Listen, uh…what's your name again?" Scout asked.

"Twilight…Twilight S-Sparkle…" She stuttered.

"Listen, Twilight. If I was going to kill you, I would have already." Scout said, trying to reason with Twilight.

"Um…ok…" Twilight then said, slowly inching towards Scout, who had a tender smile on his face.

"Come on…I won't hurt you." He said.

Twilight finally reached Scout and he put a hand on her mane, indicating he was friendly.

"Do you have any other ponies that talk that I should know about?" Scout asked.

"Yeah…yeah, I do know some…" Twilight said, getting more comfortable around Scout.

"Well, can you take me to 'em?" Scout asked, standing.

"Yeah. Follow me, please." Twilight said, walking towards Ponyville, Scout following close behind.

* * *

><p><em>Later on...<em>

* * *

><p>Twilight walked to Fluttershy's house, and stopped outside the door.<p>

"Ok, so…what was your name again?" Twilight asked Scout.

"Scout. Scout Pilgrim."

"Ok, so, Scout, the first pony you're going to meet is Fluttershy. Now, she's a might shy, so be very gentle around her. No roughhousing." Twilight said to Scout.

"No weapons. Got it." Scout said, tucking away his USP .45.

Twilight knocked on the door.

"Fluttershy? Can you come out here for a minute?" Twilight said.

"Coming, Twilight." Fluttershy said as she opened the door. She saw Twilight first, then this big unknown person standing on two legs. Otherwise known as Scout Pilgrim.  
>Fluttershy yelped then ran back inside and locked the door as fast as her petite hooves could.<p>

"Fluttershy? Don't be scared of Scout. He's just a human who got lost here." Twilight said through the door.

"And how am I supposed to know he isn't going to hurt me!" Fluttershy hollered through the door.

"Uh, Fluttershy? This is Scout." Scout said through the door.

"If I could just come inside, I can show you that I am not a bad guy. I swear on it. I'll even to a Scout swear, which is the highest honor that a Scout can assign to a promise." Scout said.

"Ok…well then, go on then!" Fluttershy yelled through the door.

"Cross my hat and hope to cry, from a rainbow that's nearby." Scout said.

Twilight looked at Scout with a 'wtf' face.

"Well, Scouts are usually saddened because of rainbows, but I don't get sad from them. I was one of the lucky ones." Scout whispered.

"C'mon, I managed to show my friendliness to Twilight here, how come you can't do the same?" Scout asked.

"Well…are you sure you're not here to hurt me?" Fluttershy asked.

"I am 100% sure about that. 0% chance I am a bad guy." Scout said.

"Well…ok. Come inside." Fluttershy said, opening the door.

Scout walked inside and then patted Fluttershy on the head.

"See? I'm not a bad guy. You had me wrong all along. It's ok, I would have done the same thing." Scout said, then walked farther in.

"So, this is a nice little abode you have here, Fluttershy." Scout said, looking around.

Just then, a rabbit head butted Scout at top speed, knocking the wind out of him. Scout then heaved, all the air escaping his lungs instantaneously. When Scout came to, he looked up. The rabbit was standing on his chest with a mean look on his face.

"Uh, and who is this?" Scout asked.

"That's Angel. He's my little rabbit friend." Fluttershy said, picking him up.

"Why is he so mad at me?"

"He thinks you're an enemy. That's why he knocked the wind right outta ya." Twilight said.

Scout got up and dusted himself off.

"Well, that was quite an experience. Ok, Twilight. Got anyone else who might want to meet me?"

* * *

><p><em>Later, at Sugarcube Corner...<em>

* * *

><p>"Ok, Scout. The next person you'll meet is Pinkie Pie." Twilight said.<p>

"Does she have any pets?" Scout asked.

"Only Gummy, her toothless alligator." Twilight said.

"Ah, ok." Scout asked, sighing a sigh of relief.

Twilight knocked on the door. A pink pony with a poofy mane and a sweet smell emerged. She saw Twilight first, then Scout. She hovered in the air, gasped, then ran back inside, shutting the door.

Scout stood, confused.

"Oh, that's just Pinkie Pie for you. She's planning on throwing you a party." Twilight said.

"So that's why she gasped?" Scout asked.

"Yep." Twilight finally said.

"Nice." Scout said, waiting.

"So...any fun facts that I should know about you?" Scout asked.

"Well, I'm a unicorn, as you can see. I also am a student of the princess of this great land, Equestria." Twilight said.

"And that princess is?" Scout asked.

"Princess Celestia. I defeated her younger sister, Princess Luna, when she turned into nightmare moon." Twilight said, shivering from past memories.

2 minutes of awkward silence.

"When is Pinkie gonna be done with this party of mine?" Scout asked.

"She usually takes the whole day." Twilight finally said.

"Great. Let's keep going." Scout said.

* * *

><p><em>Near Rainbow Dash's house...<em>

* * *

><p>"The next pony your gonna meet is Rainbow Dash. She's a fast, flying type." Twilight said, as they got close to a floating cloud in the sky.<p>

"Anything else?" Scout asked.

"Nope. Well, she's really competitive. Don't ask her to a competition unless you know your going to win." Twilight said.

"Oh, I'm sure of that." Scout said, opening a can of Bonk! Energy Drink.

"What is that your drinking?" Twilight asked as Scout sipped on his drink.

"Oh, this? This is a little concoction that the boys in the lab whipped up for us Scouts. We run faster with it." Scout said.

"Can I try a sip? It smells delicious." Twilight asked.

"Sure. But be careful, your heart will pump a mile a minute, and before you know it, you're running down the freeway in your underwear as fast as you can. Although you ponies don't look like you wear underwear, let alone clothes, you should be fine." Scout said.

Scout then tipped the drink a little bit so Twilight can get a quick sip. She licked her lips afterward, and her eyes dilated.

"Whoa! That's good!" Twilight yelled, hopping up and down.

"Whoa...settle down, spaz. You're hyper enough already. Don't want a hyper pony on my hands. Heh, be too funny." Scout said, drinking more of the Bonk.

"BUTIWANTMORE!" Twilight said, tackling Scout. The drink flew in the air, and Scout zipped from under Twilight's grasp, and grabbed the can before it fell. "Close call. WAY to close of a call, in fact." Scout said, drinking more.

"GIMMEDAT!" Twilight said, trying to grab it.

An hour of fussing went by, and then Twilight finally calmed down.

"Hey!" A voice rang out from the cloud. "What the hay is going on down th—" Rainbow Dash came from the cloud, and looked down. To her surprised, there was Twilight Sparkle fighting with a human.

"Twilight, what the hay are you doing? And who is that?" She asked.

"Oh hi!" Scout said, struggling to get out of Twilight's grasp. "I'm Scout Pilgrim. And you are?"

"Rainbow Dash. Nice to meet you." She said, holding her hoof out for a handshake.

"Wow, you're the bravest pony I've met here." Scout said, surprised.

"What, your saying I'm not brave?" Rainbow asked.

"I'm saying you're slow!" Scout said under duress.

"Let's just see about that. Race to the bell. 5 minutes from now."

"See ya there, pally." Scout said, his inner Scout roots starting to come out.

* * *

><p><em>Five minutes later...<em>

* * *

><p>"We are here at the Inter-species grand prix! It's Scout Pilgrim, the human, versus Rainbow Dash, the pony! Who will win? Who knows?" Pinkie said up in her hot air balloon, who was the announcer for the race.<p>

"Break a hoof out there, Rainbow Dash." Scout said.

"Right back at 'cha." Dashie said.

The two bolted out of the starting line as soon as the starting bell rang. Rainbow Dash was fast, but Scout was faster. Scout felt the wind struggle to keep up behind him, and the fact that his legs weren't even tired just added to the fact that...Scout was just too fast.

"Oh, c'mon, Rainbow! You can't keep up with a human?" Scout yelled across the howling wind. "I guess I just gotta go faster..." Scout said, speeding up.

Rainbow Dash started tearing up at the fact that a human was about to beat her in racing. She hung her head low, and kept up her speed. Scout finished first.

"And the human wins! Scout Pilgrim wins!" Pinkie cried from the balloon.

Scout wasn't even tired, let alone, sweaty. He was set. The ponies then crowded around him, admiring the hulking man that was Scout Pilgrim.

"Well, this is a different introduction than im used to." Scout said, as they carried him away, and went on to admire his "greatness".

* * *

><p>Roseluck was walking along and picking flowers when all of a sudden, a light red portal opened near her. Big hulking men walked out, with mean looks on their faces, and all wearing light-red clothes with a tinge of evilness in it. A then seemingly normal man came out, sword in hand, and evil grin on his face. He spotted Roseluck, and at that exact moment, she emptied her bladder onto the floor.<p>

"Yes, I'm looking for a Scout Pilgrim. You know him?" The man asked, neck jerked upwards.

Roseluck then ran away, scared for her life.

"If you're running to Scout, tell him I sent you!" Nega-Scout said, laughing.

Nega-Scout's voice was very calm, and had a british accent. You could'nt take him seriously until he was strangling you with your own hair. He had many war medals, all pertaining to battlefield killing sprees. On his belt, replacing his buckle, was the skull of a human with the cranial cavity caved in, and a bat marking near the back of the skull. He was basically the evil version of Scout Pilgrim.

"Come on, men. Let's find us a Pilgrim..." Nega then said, walking forwards and his men trailing close behind.

* * *

><p><em>The reason this hasn't been posted way before is because i missed so many chances to upload it (<em>Minecraft, Quake Live, etc.) _and hadn't had time to get to this wonderful place known as . And I hope you guys will understand that the reason Scout beat Rainbow Dash is because he is a superhuman. But still, pretty crazy. And that Nega-Scout guy is bad news, for Pilgrim, and for the ponies. Stay tuned, it's gonna get hot._

_-SP_


	3. Chapter 3, The Beginning of the End

"Wait, so, how do you make that energy drink I drank?" Twilight asked Scout as they rested at her house.

"What, you mean Bonk?" Scout asked.

"Yeah, that stuff."

"Well, you get some pop rocks, mix it with some warheads candy and-"

Just then, Fluttershy burst through the door, with a horrified look on her face.

"Twilight! There's an emergency!" She yelled.

"What's wrong?!" Twilight yelled back.

"There were these people, they look…just like him!" She said as she pointed to Scout.

"Wait, did he go by the name 'Nega-Scout?'" He asked.

"Yeah! That's the guy!" She said, then buried her face in Twilight's chest.

"And did he wear a light red shirt instead of a blue one, and have red eyes unlike my blue ones?" Scout kept asking.

"Uh-huh!" Fluttershy yelped.

"Oh no…" Scout said.

"What?" Twilight asked.

"Nega-Scout's my arch-enemy. He and I have been fighting for as long as we can remember. Sorta like Mario and Bowser." Scout said.

"Who's Mario and Bowser?" Twilight asked. She didn't know about the Mario series of video games.

"Oh yeah. Forgot about that. Uh, I'll get into that later. But right now, I gotta go confront him!"Scout said, then ran out the door so quick, Fluttershy and Twlight's hair blew back. Scout shortly returned.

"Uh, where is he again?" Scout asked.

"He's at Sweet Apple Orchards, chopping down trees!" Fluttershy squealed.

"Oh, it is on." Scout said, then sprinted as fast as he can to Sweet Apple Orchards.

* * *

><p>Scout's wrist computer's screen flashed, signaling that he had arrived.<p>

He walked through the open gate, and heard the distant sound of chainsaws. Scout was horrified of the sound, but he had to follow it.  
>Scout kept walking ahead, and the growling sound of chainsaws started to become accompanied by the loud thud of trees falling, and the thumps of apples hitting the ground.<p>

Inaudible chatter was heard, until he finally found the epicenter of where the sounds were coming from.

Large men where using rather, well, large machinery to take down a large amount of trees. (that's a lot of large!) And Scout was furious.  
>Not because of the trees, but because of the apples. He was hungry, after all.<p>

"Hey! Yo!" Scout yelled and waved.

One of the men looked at him and growled, "What'dya want?!"

"Who and where is your leader?!" Scout yelled again.

"Nega-Scout, ya little prick! And he's over there!" He pointed to a light red trailer.

"Thanks, you runaway Macy's Day Parade Blimp!" Scout yelled with a smirk on his face.

"You little shit!" He screamed at Scout, and was about to pound him into the ground.

Scout quickly dodged the incoming fist, and ran to the trailer.

He threw the door open, and ran inside.

"Nega-Scout!" Scout yelled.

"Eh-?" Nega Scout looked at the door, and saw Scout standing there.

"Ah, Scout Pilgrim. Long time, never wanted to see."

Nega Scout was an exact opposite of Scout Pilgrim. Instead of blue, he wears red, and is incredibly evil, but has some standards, at least.  
>He was relaxing with his lady friends when Scout barged in.<p>

Nega shooed out the ladies and he stood up, knife in hand.

"What'd you come here for?" Scout said, sidestepping to the right.

He did the same, and started sidestepping to the left.

"Well, it just so happens that me and my colleagues have found an abundance of earthly necessities. Oil, fresh water, lumber, the works. We just wanna take a bit." Nega said.

"How much?" Scout said through bared teeth.

"Oh, not much. About 90% will do us just fine." Nega wringed his hands.

"How about 0%?" Scout barked.

"I beg your pardon, but i believe that we are both aliens to the planet, are we not?" Nega said with a smirk, and put away his knife.

"Yes, but what's your point?" Scout said, one eyebrow up.

"My point is that we should both take this planet and reap it of it's items." Nega said, then came closer to Scout, wrapping his arms round him, and had a big smirk on his face.

"Scout, my boy, we could be gods back in Teufort. Think about it. We could save the world, and get the Nobel Peace Prize, don't you want that? Hmm, Scouty-boy?" Nega said, running his hands along Scout's body.

"No! I won't give in!" Scout said, pushing away Nega Scout and backing up against the wall.

"Oh well, your loss, Scout Pilgrim." Nega said, then used his magic to push away Scout out the door.

He landed with a thud, and had gotten the wind knocked out of him. He promptly went to Twilight's tree house.

"So, he's planning on taking our trees, oil and other necessities?" Twilight asked, curious.

"Yeah, or so i've been told. He'll stop at nothing to get what he wants. He's a reckless man." Scout said.

"So what do we do?" Twilight asked.

"We fight back." Scout said, getting up and walking out.

Scout needs help this time, and the ponies are there, for a friend in need.

* * *

><p><em>Hey! Big surprise! I'm not dead! I've just been working on other stuff, like I said last time.<em>

_So, Scout has met Nega, and is gonna have to stop him, one way or another._


End file.
